I was awakened this morning to a frantic call from my boyfriend who seemed to be in the midst of a nervous breakdown. He began with "Roisin...I need to talk to you" in a quavering voice. If anybody says they need to talk to you while their voice is shaking, you will quickly discover this is just about one of the most terrifying sounds your brain can be exposed to. My immediate thoughts were:
1. Most of my chums from university have been killed in some kind of horrific pileup incident.
2. My boyfriend has been orphaned after his parents were trampled by an escaped rhinoceros.
3. He was going to reveal that he was born with female genitalia.
Two things we have learned from this seemingly pointless introduction:
1. I watch too many films.
2. His tone made me think that something horrible was about to be revealed.
In fact, the reason for his distress was that his dissertation was due in and he felt it wasn't good enough for submission. Despite my nagging to get it in on time, he has left it for another day. The whole thing left me feeling very frustrated at the entire university system; because the reality is, even if he submitted the dissertation in the state it was in at the time (without a conclusion or enough secondary sources) he probably still would have got a 2:1. As will most people doing an Arts Degree.
I can only speak for the University of Liverpool here, but I felt like it was almost ridiculously easy to get a 2:1. Philosophy was more difficult,I admit, and I had to work a bit harder. But for English students who would settle with a 2:1-come on. Don't act like you have that much work. Sparknotes is all you need-I would literally read the summaries and all the analysis and spout it in a seminar the next day. To pass English, the only understanding you need is the understanding that people far smarter than you have already done most of the work, and it's all on the internet for you to paraphrase and pass off as your own.
Of course, there is a genuine pleasure that comes with reading the works themselves. I'm not opposed to this, but if you choose to read the works for this reason, don't complain about the amount of work when you could have an easier alternative with much the same outcome... ESPECIALLY WHEN AT MOST YOU RECEIVE SIX HOURS A WEEK OF ACTUAL TEACHING TIME.
Obtaining a degree was ten times easier than A-Levels. No employer cares that I have a 2:1 in English and Philosophy and why should they? I know bugger all about philosophy and the only books I read during those three years were ones for my own personal enjoyment. By rights I should have failed completely. And yet I still got a 2:1. Think about that for a minute. Either I'm some kind of genius, or taking an Arts Degree is a colossal waste of time and money. Though at least in my case, no energy was wasted, unlike my poor boyfriend.
So my advice to anybody taking an Arts Degree is to enjoy your social life, especially so in first year (some people I know actually complained about workload in first year, despite the fact that you only need 40 % to pass and it doesn't count anyway), and cheat your way to a 2:1. Paraphase things from the internet. Find criticism books that nobody has heard of and copy entire paragraphs, word for word. Learn sentences from Spark Notes to use in your exam. Or better yet, find new and inventive ways to cheat and you might just come away with a First.
